Shabbat dinner is the most accessible mitzvah in Jewish life. There's no synagogue membership required, no Hebrew prerequisite, and the bar for beauty is set by candles, bread, and the people at your table. This is the practical version — what to do, when, and what to say.
The night, in order
- 18 minutes before sunset — Light the Shabbat candles (two minimum). The host covers her eyes, recites the blessing, then opens her eyes to "greet" the Shabbat light.
- Sing Shalom Aleichem — Welcoming the angels of Shabbat into the home.
- Eshet Chayil — Proverbs 31, sung to honor the women of the house.
- Bless the children — A short blessing over each child, hands on the head.
- Kiddush — A blessing over wine or grape juice, sanctifying Shabbat.
- Netilat yadayim — Ritual hand washing in silence; no speaking until after hamotzi.
- Hamotzi — A blessing over two loaves of challah, then everyone tears a piece.
- The meal — Multiple courses, conversation, no phones.
- Zemirot — Shabbat songs between courses or before bentching.
- Birkat hamazon — Grace after meals.
A sample menu (six guests)
- Starters: challah, hummus, olives, salatim (3–4 small salads).
- Fish course: gefilte fish with horseradish, or simply baked salmon.
- Soup: chicken soup with matzo balls.
- Main: roast chicken or brisket, potato kugel, roasted vegetables, tzimmes.
- Dessert: fruit, honey cake, or chocolate babka. Keep dairy off the table if you served meat.
- Drinks: kosher wine for kiddush, plus sparkling water and tea.
Setting the table
- A white tablecloth — or your nicest one.
- Two candlesticks with fresh candles.
- A kiddush cup and a bottle of kosher wine or grape juice.
- Two whole challahs under a challah cover.
- A washing cup near the sink, plus a hand towel.
- Printed bentchers (booklets with kiddush, zemirot, and birkat hamazon) — one per guest.
What to say at the table
The classic Shabbat-table tradition is the d'var Torah — a 2–3 minute thought on the week's Torah portion. Ask one open-ended parsha question and let the table run with it. Use Faith Common's discussion-question generator to pull three OIA-style questions from any parsha or psalm.
Hosting people who've never done this
- Send a short text beforehand: "We'll light candles around 7:00, eat around 7:30, and finish with songs around 9:30."
- Print the blessings with transliteration and a one-line English meaning.
- Pour wine for everyone before kiddush so no one is caught off guard.
- Walk through netilat yadayim once at the sink — it's the most confusing part for newcomers.
- Make it warm, not perfect. Guests remember the conversation, not the brisket.
If you don't have a synagogue yet
Browse the Faith Common directory to find a synagogue, chabad, or chavurah near you. Synagogues and chavurot can create a free public page with service times, candle-lighting times, kiddush sponsorship, and a "Shabbat dinner sign-up" form for guests.
Frequently asked questions
What time does Shabbat start?
Shabbat begins 18 minutes before sunset on Friday evening and ends roughly 42–72 minutes after sunset on Saturday (when three stars appear). Exact times depend on your latitude and the season; check a Jewish calendar for your city.
What is the order of a Shabbat dinner?
Candle-lighting (18 minutes before sunset) → Shalom Aleichem and Eshet Chayil → blessing the children → kiddush over wine → ritual hand washing (netilat yadayim) → hamotzi over two loaves of challah → the meal → zemirot (Shabbat songs) → birkat hamazon (grace after meals).
Do I need to be Jewish to host or attend Shabbat dinner?
Anyone can host or attend a Shabbat dinner — it's one of the warmest entry points into Jewish life. Many Jewish families regularly invite non-Jewish friends, neighbors, and colleagues. Bring a kosher-friendly dish or a bottle of kosher wine if you're attending.
What should I serve at Shabbat dinner?
Traditional menus include challah, gefilte fish or salmon, chicken soup with matzo balls, roast chicken or brisket, kugel, tzimmes, and a dessert. Modern Shabbat tables span every cuisine — keep it kosher if your guests observe, and avoid mixing meat and dairy in the same meal.
How long does Shabbat dinner usually last?
Plan for 2–3 hours. The blessings and meal itself take 90 minutes; conversation, zemirot, and birkat hamazon add another 30–60. Shabbat is intentionally unhurried — leave your phone in another room.